just watched a movie on crunchyroll.com. This movie is in japanese, with title "Platonic ***" and it has a wonderful plot. Very touching indeed.

Two people of different backgrounds. the girl just got gang-raped by her classmates, and wanted to commit suicide while the guy's sister committed suicide because of bullies. the girl, Aoi Kadokura, suddenly received a sms from a person named Toshi. A sms containing birthday greetings, and thanks for her birth except it is sent to Ai. Aoi took a step back into the safety realms. the guy's Toshi was going to kill the bullies but received a reply from Aoi. He was shocked as he dropped the knife. Soon both kept in contact trhough sms, as they went onto their ways of life. Aoi went into prostitution while Toshi was working at the disco club. It was one year later they met each other at the club and a blossoming love comes along.

I guess tat I envied Toshi not because of Aoi or anything but of his truthful character. I wasn't tat open with ppl, even i suspected myself.. I can't find my real self which is probably lost during my childhood, my NS or now..

Life is in a situation where I have no U-turn sign anymore.. Perharps I am not fit to be human anyway.. if anyone reading this entry, don't worry I am letting my emotions to run for now..